Not so Picture Perfect

Anger. Lately I have felt angry. Just frustrated and I honestly can’t even tell you what specifically I am angry about. But I still have this pit in my stomach that won’t go away. My fuse is short and any small instance that doesn’t happen the way I think it should I just want to [...]

Guilt & Grace

I watched as the white flower was passed around from person to person. Our teacher encouraged us to feel the texture of the flower, smell it, and simply observe it. After it was passed around by twenty or so people, the flower was no longer what it used to be. It had been touched and [...]

The Number

“Just run, run, run!”  Those were the words the agent told me at a modeling agency I went to when I was in 7th grade. I was already a size 4 and that was “too big” if I wanted to make it in the modeling world. Which at the time, it was too big, but [...]

A Choice.

Do any of you have the old home videos? The ones that are on a black tape that you stick into another tape that you put into the VCR? Well we do and one of my favorite things to do is to watch home videos. Honestly, sometimes I get emotional watching them. I see this [...]

Unexpected. Birth Story

At 36 weeks, I went into to see the doctor and they told me “You are 3 centimeters dilated and 70% effaced”. For those of you who don’t know what that means, it means (according to the doctor) I was due ANY day. Well that’s a LIE. 3 weeks went by and two false alarms [...]

Unexpected. Part 3

“Meeting the parents” is already nerve-racking enough, let alone when you are meeting the parents while carrying a child that is not their son’s. When Nate first told me he wanted me to meet his parents AND that they wanted to meet me, I once again was a little shocked. “Well, there isn’t much time [...]

Unexpected. Part 2

Getting ready for my first date with Nate was probably one of the most stressful moments in my life. Here I am with this belly that is so big I am almost to the point where I can’t see my toes, trying to find a cute outfit to wear, and on the verge of tears [...]